9:50 PM I received news from my father that a friend that I haven't had contact with for almost a decade is now dead. I'm looking at the obituaries of today's local paper, and I am seeing his name and his photo there. He died on October 25, 2009 from an automotive collision. I googled the information and I found an article along with the one in the paper I have here:

http://www.newsobserver.com/news/crime_safety/story/158102.html

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/newsobserver/obituary.aspx?n=edward-james-smith&pid=135040138

He was a little over one years younger than me. His birthday would have been exactly next week from today.

Another article:

http://www.wral.com/news/news_briefs/story/6277790/

I failed in going asleep this evening so I decided to catch up on my LJ. I've noticed many of my friends going through difficult times, whether it be financially, emotionally, and/or physically. Often times I look at myself, on my life and the problems and hardships that I cope with, and I compare that to others around me that I know. I don't find comfort in knowing there are those out there that I know, and many who I call friends, in worse situation than I. In fact it makes my own problem seem very small, and I find that most disconcerting.
I wish I could do more to help the few that I listened to the stories of, but all I did was offer words of comfort and advice. Meager words in my mind compare to what my friends are going through right now. I feel guilty that I am not doing more for them, that I am not taking action to go a step further than just words and actually do something that may help their lives, lift their spirits, and show that one of their friends cares enough to put aside their own ambitions and goals... my ambitions, my goals.
Instead, I recite to myself a well known aphorism: 'Take care of yourself before others." Those wise words really gives little comfort to me when I listen to all the problems that those I know are suffering from. I dare say a part of me agonizes when I convince myself with thoughts such as, "They need to take care of themselves, they're responsible for their own well-being, there is nothing I can do that won't hurt myself for them." The first two I agree with, the third seems to me as being selfish and due to my own ignorance of any alternatives.
I find myself deeper in thought as I write this out and a bit less aggravated from this position I placed myself in. I'm actually starting to type less, just sitting and thinking about what I've wrote. I find that I'm becoming more distant as I do, more logical, less emotionally driven to continue with this small essay. I might be able to go asleep now from it too. I have classes tomorrow at 10:30 AM EST. I might continue this later in a different journal entry.

Your results:
You are Jean-Luc Picard

Jean-Luc Picard 80% Will Riker 60% Geordi LaForge 55% James T. Kirk (Captain) 45% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 45% Deanna Troi 45% Chekov 40% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 40% Data 32% Mr. Scott 30% Uhura 30% Beverly Crusher 30% Spock 27% Mr. Sulu 25% Worf 20%

A lover of Shakespeare and other fine literature. You have a decisive mind and a firm hand in dealing with others.

Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test


Huh... I hope I'll have more hair than he does at that age...

This afternoon while I was about to heading out to meet with a friend of mine, I nearly stumbled over a turtle with a circumference of around 1.5 feet on the bottom of my front porch. It was partially covered in clay and the shell was starting to peel. I decided to pick up the turtle and take a slight detour to my trip to a nearby pond that's 50 meters away. Placing it in the front passenger seat my car, I drove about five times that distance around to a location where the pond was more accessible and where I didn't need to cut through someone's property.

The second time I picked it up, it resisted and gave my hand a thorough scratching with its claws as it clambered. Trying to see the brighter side of the situation, I did a rough Arnold Schwarzenegger impression and shouted, "Stop it! Stop whining," as it continued to struggle while I was carrying it. I flipped it upside down so it couldn't claw at my hand and that seemed to do the trick before it became docile again.

There was a small playground and two kids with their mother on a nearby bench watching me as I carried the complacent critter. They came closer wanting to catch a better look, so I let them get somewhat close to gawk at the huddled, upside-down turtle. It was sort of amusing watching them stare in amazement at the turtle. Reminded me of when I was their age and how timid I was in just approaching my first encounter with a big turtle... only it nearly bit me.

Anyways, while I was treading up a small hill there was a duck up on top that didn't even move as I stepped closer upward. I didn't want to provoke it since I figured it was acting as a watchout for the other ducks that was closer to the pond, but I was curious how close I can get to it before it decided to do something about me. I ended walking right pass by duck while it was at most about a foot from me (I would have had to divert my path if I wanted to stay away from it), and kept walking towards the shallow water.

I got to watch the other ducks scurry away, but also a good number of turtles (I counted 14 when I got there) like the one I was carrying in both size and look close to the shallow area. It was a funny sight, seeing the ducks waddle over the turtles that was swimming underneath. I half expected one of the turtle to bite a duck in their rear with how close they were.

Flipping the turtle right side up, I placed it on the murky edge of the water. As one of my friends would have said, "it hauled ass" back into the water. Anytime I do something for an animal, I typically wonder if events yet to come for that animal would have been better or worse had I not intervened at all. Often times, that thought is fleeting because I know, I'll probably never know. Logically speaking, I believe I have, and that is good enough for me.

Now comes the hare part. On my return trip back home, I noticed a cottontail nearby my front porch. I pulled up into my driveway, got out, walked to the front door, and it sat there watching me. I was starting to get a bit irked at not getting my quota of being fearful by little furry creatures so I jerked my arms towards it. Apparently, I'm not something to be fearful of since it only hopped once and resumed staring at me as I unlocked my door. Minutes later when i peaked back out, the rabbit was back in its original spot. Call me paranoid, but I think I ruined something for these animals for them to be staring at me.

It has been awhile since I last updated my LJ. Decided to take one of those online quiz for kicks. Taken from chenneoue.

You Are a Snow Leopard

You have learned that you must rely on yourself, and yourself alone, to live a happy life. You are understand the world better than most people you know. You are very perceptive and intuitive. You need lots of space to think. If you don't get the space you need, you're likely to bite someone's head off. Because you are so thoughtful and solitary, people find you to be intense and mysterious. You're even seen as intimidating.

I finally caved and bought an Xbox360. Most friends I know that has the Xbox360 say nothing but great things about it including the online Xbox Live services and the selection of games associated with it. I got a glimpse of 'Live' when I bought and played Fallout 3 for the PC, and further more when I bought Halo 2 for the PC as well. Since then I returned Halo 2 back to the store to credit the value towards buying an Xbox360 as well as a good warranty. Most of my friends that has an Xbox360 has experienced a Red Screen of Death with it, so I decided it was best not to take chances of a similar event happening to me. Ironically, I found out I need to buy a charger pack for my controller since I don't like to be going through batteries like a whale goes through plankton. Another aspect I notice is I'm going to need a router so I can have my computer to have internet access while playing on the Xbox360. Currently the router part isn't very important for me since I can just carry my DSL modem back and forth, but it will be on the list of something more I'll need to buy.

To those that are curious what my gamertag is, it is none other than Forefox. The only games for it I have is the Lego: Indiana Jones and Kung-Fu Panda game with it, but I'm looking to get Fable 2, Halo 3, Gears of War 2, and Call of Duty 5. Just more stuff to sink money into.

Several days ago my father managed to get two tickets to a football game from one of of his friends that couldn't go. He ended up choosing me to go with him. I wasn't that thrilled to go a football game because I tend be bad luck to any home team game I visit. However, I decided I wanted to spend more time with him and this would be a good way to get out from the ordinary.

So... I just came back from a football game at Carter-Finley Stadium with my father a quarter before the game ends. I couldn't find a parking spot nearby so we ended up parking about 20 minutes away from the stadium which wasn't too bad at the time. Neither of us mind the walk.

What we did mind is that it rained during the second quarter... nevermind during the first half of the game when we watched USF score three touchdowns and a safety against NSCU's only field goal. Something about me going to any athletic games, and the home team lose everytime I go. Makes me wonder if I ever should go to any future games which the home team is the one I root for. Anyways, we ended up leaving before the end of the first half while it was raining, and it started to rain a good deal. We weren't going to spend $6 for the plastic ponchos, so we toughed it out back to the car. One thing I'd like to note that during the walk back, I saw a packed bus called Werewolf B. Nothing special other than I sneezed at that moment and my father inquired if I was okay.

So we both get back, our clothes soaked and my father does one of his little snide remarks of how much I stank when I'm wet. My response was it must run in the genes. We both had a good laugh about it and didn't say much from there on. There wasn't really much of a traffic heading back, but my socks were thoroughly wet which made a great squishy feeling everytime I shifted gears.

So, I'm left here with a small headache (I took something for it already) and wondering if going to the game was worth it. It was a mixed bag and everything didn't go too bad. We did leave the game early and it was raining, but I got to spend some time with my dad and he actually cracked a joke from it all. I think he was in a better mood getting through this than I was, but I truly think it was because he spent a out of the ordinary event with me. I'm not in the best of all moods at the moment, but now I believe in the future this will be a memory I will be glad to have.

Interesting debut of a MMORPG that I'll be keeping an eye on.

It seems my video card that I've had for less then a year is giving out on me. Right now I'm seeing a screen full of pink and green lines as I type out this entry. Annoying, but manageable to say the least. My guess is that the video card's memory is going bad. I've eliminated many other reasons why this could be happening including getting new drivers, reverting back to old drivers, checking the cables, memory tests, and checking the monitor.

The video card I have is the GeForce 8800 Ultra. It runs fast as a race horse but also prone to leg injuries heat damage.
My hypothesis is its prolonged use in graphically intensive games has caused it to drastically decrease its lifespan. Primarily because the video card runs hot on idle at 65 degrees Celsius (149 degrees Fahrenheit) during last spring, and that is without it being overclocked on my end. Now that summer has come around the corner, it's pushing that temperature higher along with me playing something like Enemy Territory: Quake Wars at maximum graphical setting to 87 degrees C (~189 degrees F). Not quite to the point of boiling water, but it wouldn't be something I'd touch... not like I would in the first place. Couple that with the entire year of mostly playing games on the highest visual settings and I am bound to have a Barbaro incident.

The great aspect about all of this is I have a lifetime warranty on the video card. It's just I have to wait until Monday to ship it out to the manufacturer in which I hope my video card will be solemnly euthanized discarded and a new one mailed back to me. So far, I'm considering in getting a cheap backup until I get another fast race horse graphics card.

I decided to volunteer as a maintainer for the Art Grind community to help my friend jakkal regulate the entries that goes on there. I won't be participating in the event since I cannot draw an individual to save my life, but at least then it means I'll have more time in looking over all the entries. No enduring this particular challenge for me

For those of you that are curious into why I don't participate in it, let me explain that I am better with words then with pictures. Where as people would focus on learning how to draw, I focus on story writing as a hobby. I currently practice and hone my skills by creating short stories. I have yet to reach the level of writing an entire novel which is one of my long term goals, but that doesn't mean I don't have ideas for one. My challenge would be to create an epic story of my own. Though I do not hold delusions of matching myself to JRR Tolkien or CS Lewis or even completing such story within several months. Overtime as I continue to read and write, I hope to one day achieve that goal and to continue to grow, learn, and create before and thereafter.

Here is a great documentary about the Kitzmiller v Dover case. It deals with the teachings of evolution, and how science in the public classroom came very close to being compromised by a religious agenda. Its a bit long though, two hours, so if your going to watch this you have been forewarned.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-404729062613200911

A friend of mine shared this article with me:

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23224684-3102,00.html

The sad part isn't so much of Benny Hinn being a fraud, but the people being so blind in their faith they don't see him as a fraud.

Yesterday marks a day that I'm serious about working out in a gym which also means today most of my muscles are sore. It has been on my mind for awhile and I decided to be serious about it. I'm not alone on this though. One of my friends that recently moved closer to me has signed up at the same gym. This will definitely make it a lot more enjoyable, and we'll be able to keep one another motivated.

The gym I joined nearby is called 'Lifestyle'. It is like any other gym I've visited. However, all of their equipment is new, it is rather close to my home, membership is on a monthly basis, and they have a guarantee that if I'm not going to continue after the first month I'll get a refund. The downfall is they don't have a pool and I like to swim.

That doesn't matter too much for me because I'll be working mostly on my upper body strength there. That means I'll be doing a lot of free weights. I was told that the bench press, dead lift, and squats are going to be my main three I'll need to work on. Something tells me this is going to be a long first month for me.

Other then having a slight hangover from last night, I feel rather refreshed for this year. If you didn't know already I went on a skiing trip for Christmas lasting three days. I fell about 35 times and had a snowboarder plow into me, but I had a good time nevertheless. Generally everything is settling down for me so I'm kicking back and relaxing. 

Well its been awhile now since I last posted. There's been a lot happening to me lately, most being rather stressing. I didn't get accepted to the college I wanted to attend. I would normally rant on about it but that time has passed. Now I'm focusing on moving forward. Anyways, times are tough for me now. I've had it really set in being able to get into NCSU this year but now I'm finding myself taking a detour (this would be my second time applying as well). This detour basically have me set in getting some job experience and reapplying the next time around in hopes I get in. Maybe I'll even take a couple of night classes to keep myself focused in academics for whenever I get accepted. To those that don't know the fields I want to get into, they are Biomedical or Electrical Engineering. Both are highly selective and the fields which I believe will suit me the best. Now only if I can get in...

Currently, I'm taking classes to get certified as a pharmacy technician so I can have a higher pay when I apply for a position. This is more of a short term goal I have to gain work experience without being paid a poor man's salary. Maybe I'll take a liking to pharmacy and switch directions to that field instead. In any event, this is my alternative, and I'll be damned if I can't find a pharmacy tech position around here.

That pretty much sums up my situation thus far.

Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in with? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) You have entered the dark side of the Star Trek universe. The paradise of Earth is far from you and you must survive despite having enemies on all fronts. But you wouldn't have it any other way because you thrive in conflict and will know what needs to be done to take care of those around you. Now if only the Founders would quit trying to take over the galaxy. Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 94% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 81% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 75% Moya (Farscape) 63% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 63% SG-1 (Stargate) 56% Serenity (Firefly) 56% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 56% Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) 44% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 44% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 38% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 31% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 31%

It seems I'd fit well with the DS9 crew even though I'd probably have a lifespan of a redshirt. The only saving grace is that I won't killed over and over again like a Weyoun clone.

It seems my references of the Millennium Falcon as a 'hunk of junk' caught up to me coming at number two. Would I really fit in with them... no.

The Andromeda Ascendant TV series I liked because of the diversity of crew's personality. They all have flaws that matters except for Dylan Hunt who's the captain of the Andromeda Ascendant, embodyment of the Commonwealth, and lastly a Paradine (special isn't he?). Compared to the personal problems this crew has, mine are so much easier to deal with.